Saying goodbye breaks two hearts
by Music of the wind
Summary: Rosalina is having a rough time on the cruise. little does she know that the band is having problems of their own. Will the band still be together when Rosalina get's back or will rumors tear it apart?
1. Rosalina's proverb

**Rosalina's proverb**

I'm on my way to China with the group right now. I should be happy but I'm not. There're fireworks going off on the main deck but I'm not looking at them. I'll I see is the dark stained wood carvings in my bunk room.

I was in New York with Nat and the guys a week ago but things were kind of strange. For one thing Nat wouldn't shut up about a kiss I shared with some French piano player. I don't even remember his name. Then to make matters worse I call him and he starts threatening me. Nat and I have gotten into little tiffs before but this was not anything little.

I miss Nat so much that it hurts. I feel like there's an ice cube dropping down into the pit off my stomach. My eyes are always red now from lack of sleep and from crying. I'm really beginning to hate this ship. For one thing they never serve the same country's food twice. That makes my stomach really queasy because I'm not used to certain spices.

The worst part is that I get sea sick during the first four hours of traveling every god darn morning!

The frog legs they served last night really aren't agreeing with me. I don't ever want to look at French food again. The food tastes really amazing the first time but if you're throwing up for four hours every morning nothing is going to taste good. I think I've lost twelve pounds in one month.

I still feel guilty about kissing that guy. My roommate Chrissie thought it would be a good idea. I said that he looked cute and she said don't just stand there looking do something. I said no and said that I had a sweet boyfriend at home. As nice as Chrissie is she doesn't take no for an answer.

When I kissed that stupid guy the first thing I thought of was how great it felt. Then a little light bulb went off screaming what did you just do? I broke away just as the cameras flashed. My common sense didn't wake up until it was too late.

I ran back to my room on the ship. Tears flowing freely down my face I felt like I'd really messed up. Chrissie came into the room later and asked if I was coming to dinner. I really didn't feel like eating but I knew I'd pay for it later if I didn't.

I should get some sleep. If I'm still lying down when we pull out of port I get really sick. I found that out the hard way. I thought that lying down would settle my stomach but I was dead wrong. Sometimes when I do sleep I dream about Nat. Then I wake up crying because I miss him so much.

I don't want to worry Chrissie so when I cry I bite my pillow so she can't hear me. I couldn't sleep so I'm sitting outside looking at the stars. I see a falling star and make a wish. I wished that Nat and I would still be together when I got back.

I hear Chrissie getting up so must be morning. I really don't want to face another day of sea sickness. If Nat was here he'd at least hold my hair back. All Chrissie ever does is laugh at me. I meaning this in the nicest way possible if she doesn't stop laughing I'll kill her.

The group docked the ship in China this morning. For breakfast they served us fried bread dipped in honey. The honey actually settled my stomach and for the first time in weeks I didn't puke for the first four hours.

I still am sad about being millions of miles away from Nat but right now I'm going to relax and enjoy my trip before I get sick later. I went swimming before the rest of the group had to learn the proper way to loop lines. Around noon just like always I tried calling Nat. He didn't answer his phone and I started to cry. Chrissie came over to me and gave me a hug. She asked if I wanted to talk about what was wrong. I politely shook my head no and went to my bunk room to lie down.

The guy that I kissed followed me and tried to get something from me again. I threw my pillow at his head and yelled at him to get out. He called me a really, really nasty name that I won't repeat and if Nat heard it that guy wouldn't be breathing.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and tried calling the band again. Nat answered but he seemed really closed up. I wasn't sure if he missed me at all. I told him I loved him and that I was having fun. His silence was beginning to freak me out. I wish that he would say I love you back.

I hung up after talking to Nat for an hour. He said he had band practice but I don't believe him though. He's done this before and that was when he wrote beautiful eyes. He was secretive and cold. Then when he played the song for me he opened up.

I really miss him and want him to hold me in his arms again. Chrissie just came into the room and is trying to get me to come to dinner. I really don't want to eat I'm too depressed but I told Nat that I was having fun.

I ate a light dinner and went to bed. It was Chinese New Year and the rest of the group wanted to see the parade but I went back to the ship and tried to go to sleep. I had that dream about Nat again. The dream is awful in it Nat's kissing another and he doesn't remember me. Its nights like this when I wish I was back in New York with Nat and the rest of the band.

Nat called me at three am. He seemed upset but he wouldn't tell me what was wrong. He seemed even colder then the last time we talked. I bit my lip to keep from crying. Chrissie is really starting to get concerned and that's the last thing I need.

After talking on the phone with him and the rest of the band for three hours I got up. I was worried about my where my relationship with Nat stood. Tears filled my eyes but I blinked them back. I pulled out my favorite yellow halter top shirt and put it on.

For some reason though wearing that shirt brought back memories of when Nat wrote the song banana smoothie. I couldn't hold back my tears any longer and started sobbing. The French piano player came over and asked what was wrong. He apologized for calling me that rude name and kissed me on the cheek.

I don't understand why but threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. Wait kiss isn't the right word. I made out with this hot looking French guy. Instantly I stopped crying and I felt like there was nothing missing in my life.

Then it all happened again I saw the camera flash and broke down crying. The French piano player mumbled something in French and carried me into his bunk room. What happened next is all a blur. I just know that I was in nothing but my bra and had a migraine.

I tried to stand up but fell back on the bed. I was really dizzy and could barely stand up let alone walk. I didn't even know where the heck I was. My vision was shaky and unfocused. I managed to roll over and saw that I was lying next to the French piano player! I felt like I was going to be sick I ran to the bathroom and threw up. Then I started crying all over again. I tried to pull myself together. I needed to try to remember what had happened the before I woke up.

When I finally figured out had happened I gasped and threw myself on my bed sobbing uncontrollably. I had not only made out with this guy I had slept with him. To make matters worse the tabloids had pictures of me making out with him.

I didn't even know what had caused me to want to sleep with him. I didn't even like him I only made out with him because I was upset about Nat. I tried to stand up and find another outfit. I grabbed my bathing suit instead and went out to pool.

I jumped into the pool and felt the cold water shock my system. When my brain realized the reality of what I'd done I dove under the water and held my breath. I knew that I had to tell Nat before that French camera kiss up did. I also knew that this would kill him and the thought of hurting him breaks my heart.

I also know that I have to fess up soon before that French piano player tells everybody and their mothers. I climbed out of the pool and got dressed. Then I called Nat Alex answered the phone and I asked him to hand the phone to Nat.

Alex then told me that Nat was heart broken because of a certain article that was published today. I calmly told Alex that it was important that I talked to him now. Alex handed Nat the phone and I could immediately tell that he'd been crying.

I told Nat exactly what happened. He said that he wasn't angry with me he that he wanted to kill that French piano player. He said that he must have drugged me and that's why I didn't remember anything. He apologized for being so cold towards me. I told him that it was alright and asked what the article had been published and he said that someone had made up sick lies and that had caused the band to break up.

I wanted to hug Nat close but instead I said that everything would be fine. I wanted to know what the rumors were but I figured that Nat didn't wan to talk about it. I told him that I was learning a lot and would kick that French piano player's butt if he ever touched me again.

I hung up and then went to the next activity. Chrissie asked me where I was at breakfast and I said I didn't want to talk about it. Then that French pain in my butt showed up. He told Chrissie that I had slept with him.

Chrissie screamed and told me that she thought I had a boyfriend. I started to try to defend myself but then I remembered what I had told Nat and I punched him in face and kicked him hard.

He crumpled to the ground screaming. I just laughed at him and then went with the rest of the group to lunch. I think things are finally turning around on this trip. I'm finally happy but I'm worried about who would write those awful things about the band.

I guess that I can worry about this later. Right now I'm going to keep my promise to Nat and start having fun on this trip.


	2. Nat's proverb

**Nat's proverb**

Rosalina's been gone for a week now. I miss her so much it kills me. I hate the fact that the one time I had a chance to spend time with her I fought with her. I kissed her before she left sure but the rest of the time I was in the woods. I want to hold her in my arms and never let her go.

The band is in trouble! For the past three days there have been awful rumors being spread about us in different tabloids. These weren't just the normal things that they made up just to make us sweat. These were ugly and we were sweating buckets. It started with someone saying that my dad was sleeping with a stripper. They even had fake pictures to quote prove it!

That wasn't the worse the press has ever come up with. Then things started to get ugly and twisted. Who ever is doing this obviously wants to see the band fall apart. I won't let this happen. The band is my family and I won't ever let them go.

However tensions are running high and half the time I'm trying to keep Tomas, Qaasim, David, and Alex from killing each other. I can't tell Rosalina what's going on because I want her to have fun. I miss her very much but I'm hiding it from the guys. The last thing Alex needs is to have to worry about me.

She called last night but I really didn't want to talk. I'm concerned about the band. She seemed really sad and distant I love her and I want her to be happy. If anybody and I mean anybody hurts her I'll personally hunt them down and kill them.

I should go eat dinner before practice but I'm not hungry. I promised Rosalina that I wouldn't worry about her. I feel like ripping my hair out every time she's not in my arms. I love her and hate seeing her sad. I want to hold her close but I've done something terrible. I kissed another girl. Actually wasn't a kiss it was turned into one. Dad took me, Alex and Jesse to the mall. I don't know what happened but Jesse started choking. I gave her mouth to mouth and when she woke up she kissed me hard. I feel pretty bad because I spent a week depressed in the woods after she kissed another guy.

That kiss was the second best kiss I've ever had in my life! Of course the best kisses are when Rosalina kisses me. Alex is going to kill me when I tell him! That's why I'm not telling him or Rosalina until I get my feelings straight. If you're going to be killed by your little brother and girlfriend it's best to die with your emotions in check.

I'm hoping that as soon as I kiss my Rosie everything will go back to normal. This whole thing with the band really has me shaken up. Qaasim won't stop picking fights with Alex. My brother as small as he is can hit pretty hard. I wish this would stop. David and Tomas are even fighting. I'm actually grateful that Rosalina's not here to see those two fighting. All of the tension would break her heart.

Alex came into our room earlier his eyes were filled with tears. I was really confused because Alex never cried. I pulled him close to him me and saw that he was holding a magazine. I took it and saw that the headline was another rumor about the band.

This one was about Alex. My anger flared out of control. I asked Alex to leave the room and then I screamed loud enough for dad to hear me from his room on the first floor. I told my dad that this was getting to be too much.

I called an emergency band meeting tears were burning in my eyes. I could barely talk when I called the guys. First Tomas and Qaasim arrived then David and Jesse. I had everybody sit in the living room. Tomas and Qaasim sat on the purple couch next to me. Alex and David sat on the floor. Alex wiped the tears from his cheeks and I showed the rest of the band the magazine. I did the hardest thing that I've ever had to do in my fifteen year old life. I told the band that things with the press were getting out of control. The headline that they wrote about Alex makes me so angry. I can't even repeat it to the rest of the guys.

Tomas tried to talk me out of ending the band. I politely told him that this wasn't easy for me to do but it had to done. Then Rosalina called I told Alex not to answer it. I didn't want to tell her about the band yet. I wanted her to enjoy the rest of her trip. I said that no one was allowed to tell her anything. Then I gave everyone a hug and asked dad to drive everyone home because it was really late.

At three in the morning I couldn't sleep so I called Rosalina. She seemed sad but said it was just because she missed me. She said the usual I love you and said that she was having fun. I guess she could tell that I was stressed out. She kept asking what was wrong. I talked to her for an hour and then got off the phone and went to bed.

I couldn't believe that for the first time ever I'd let the press and the media force me to call it quits. I really feel awful because my mom started the band when I was real little. She wanted us to make it big. Dad has really tried hard to help make her dream come true but after reading those headlines about us I just couldn't take it anymore.

I pulled the covers over my head and tried to go to sleep. I heard Alex crying and carried him into my bed. I ran my hand over his forehead. That's what mom did to me when I was really upset. Then I sang a soft sweet song to him the same one that mom sang to me. I waited until I knew he was relaxed before putting him back in his own bed.

Alex stirred a little bit when I tucked him in. He asked me if what had happened today was just a bad dream. I sighed and just shook my head. Then I hugged him and said that for a while the band would be broken up. Alex turned away from me and sobbed. I didn't know what to say so I just held his hand. That was when I knew that it was going to be a long time before Alex got used to and accepted the fact that the band was over.

I climbed back into bed and slept for at least four hours. Then I got up and made myself an egg. For some reason whenever I'm upset protein gets me to relax. As I was eating breakfast Tomas called. He wanted to know what to tell Rosalina if she asked why I seemed upset.

I told him that I was doing my best to act like nothing was wrong. I just told her that I missed her and that's why I was sad. Tomas told me that I couldn't hide things from Rosalina forever. Then he said that if I didn't tell soon she was going to blame herself for upsetting you.

I hung up with Tomas and my phone rang again. It was Rosalina she sounded like she had been crying. I answered the phone after she had left a voice message. She called me back later that day and she was in tears.

I didn't really feel like talking but she insisted on telling me right away. She sobbed so hard I could barely understand her. I got the jest of what she was saying though. I couldn't believe that dumb French pain in the butt had drugged my Rosalina! Then not only did he drug her but he slept with her!

Rosalina sobbed even harder after she told me what happened. I took that moment to tell her about my accidental kissing of Jesse. Rosalina seemed to calm down and asked if I was mad at her. I sighed and said no but I wanted to kick that French guy's butt.

Rosalina laughed and then said "oh don't worry if he ever touches me again I'll kick his butt."

I love the way Rosalina threatens to hurt people who give her a hard time. All I know is that if he ever crossed my path I would kill him. He hurt Rosalina and took advantage of her! I will make him suffer and pay for all stuff he put her through. I then asked her if she was angry with me for kissing Jesse. She said that she was angry with Jesse not with me. I smiled and let out the breath I'd been holding.

Then I told her that I had band practice and had to go. She asked me to be honest with her and to stop hiding things. Her voice was choked back with tears and I caved and told her everything. She gasped and told me that she was sorry. I said it wasn't her fault and then hung up. I sighed and flopped on the purple couch. Tears threatened to fall down my face and I blinked them back.

Alex woke up an hour later and asked if what happened last night had been a bad dream. I braced myself for the tears that I knew were going to come. Instead of crying though Alex climbed into my lap and told me we didn't tell Cooper.

I took out my cell phone and dialed Cooper's number. I really hated doing this. He was our manger and would insist that he should have been the first to know. I was just in such a panic because of the headline about Alex I didn't think about calling him.

Cooper didn't answer the phone probably because it was really early in the morning. I left him a message to call my phone as so as he got it.

Alex laid his head on my shoulder. I wasn't going to make him get up but I needed to use the bathroom. I gently moved him and said that I'd be right back. When I came back Cooper called. I wasn't sure exactly how to tell him that the band was taking a break.

I took a deep breath and told him that the press had taken things too far this time. Alex scooted back on to my lap and laid his head on my shoulder again. Cooper sighed and was silent for a long time. Then he told me that I was over reacting. I tried to stay calm because Alex had fallen asleep and I didn't want to wake him.

I told Cooper that he hadn't seen the headline that had been published about Alex. Cooper sighed again and told me that the choice that I made wouldn't be easy to forget or undo. I said that I did what needed to be done to make my little brother's reputation stay intact.

I hung up and closed my eyes. I hated telling Cooper that the band was over but he needed to know. I gently shook Alex awake and told him to go play with E.T and Lucky. I really miss Rosalina but if she had been there last night she would have freaked out. Then I never would have ended it.

I always joked with the guys that we were six separate people connected by one heart. I guess when Rosalina and I said goodbye it really broke two hearts. Hers and the band's I never thought that Rosalina was the heart of the band before. I guess now I'll never really figure this out but it's for the best.


End file.
